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Odin
YO BITCH IM A HORSE YOU'VE STUMBLED ACROSS MOTHERFUCKING ODIN'S MOTHERFUCKING WIKIPEDIA PAGE THAT'S RIGHT SPEND YOUR INTERNET USAGE HERE FOR AWHILE BECAUSE TRUST ME YOU WILL NOT BE WASTING ANY OF THAT BANDWIDTH OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU USE UP WHEN YOU USE THE INTERNET AN IN-DEPTH DESCRIPTION OF MY SEXINESS AKA MY APPEARANCE IN MOST OF THE FINAL FANTASY GAMES I'M DEPICTED AS THIS SEXY ASS, RIPPED DUDE DECKED OUT IN COOL ARMOUR AND SHIT. I EVEN HAVE AN AWESOME SWORD AND A SHIELD AND A SWEET-ASS HELMET WITH HORNS THAT ARE LONGER AND SHARPER THAN THE LENGTH OF THE ENTIRE MALE POPULATION'S DICKS IF THEY EVER LINED UP VERTICALLY BESIDE EACH OTHER I HAVE THIS SWEET-ASS HORSE NAMED SLEIPNIR. HE'S SUPPOSED TO HAVE EIGHT LEGS BUT I GUESS THE DUMBASSES AT SQUARESOFT/SQUARE-ENIX CAN'T COUNT FOR SHIT SO THEY USUALLY JUST PUT SIX LEGS ON HIM. THOSE IDIOTS. IN FINAL FANTASY XIII I'M ACTUALLY BOTH ODIN AND SLEIPNIR, BECAUSE I'M AWESOME LIKE THAT. WHEN I'M JUST ME, ODIN, I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING TRANSFORMER...OR THAT BIG ROBOT THAT THE POWER RANGERS MAKE WHEN THEY PUT THEIR ROBOT ANIMALS TOGETHER. DAMN. LOOK AT THOSE FUCKING HIPS. BEYONCE AIN'T READY FOR THIS JELLY BECAUSE MY BODY IS WAY MORE BOOTYLICIOUS THAN HERS. I ALSO KICK ASS WITH THAT POLEARM THING, BUT THAT STUPID ASS BITCH LIGHTNING STEALS IT WHEN I TURN INTO SLEIPNIR, OR MY HORSE FORM AS MOST PEOPLE LIKE TO CALL IT. OR GESTALT FORM. WHATEVER. WHEN I'M A HORSE I HAVE FOUR LEGS AS OPPOSED TO THE ACTUAL EIGHT...BUT LIKE I SAID BEFORE THE PEOPLE AT SQUARESOFT/SQUARE-ENIX CAN'T COUNT FOR SHIT SO I GUESS I CAN'T BLAME THEM. IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER ANYWAY. I STILL LOOK FUCKING SEXY. MORE SHIT ABOUT ME I USE THUNDER-BASED MAGIC TO KICK YOUR ASS. I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHY, SINCE IN NORSE LEGEND (THE SHIT WHERE I ORIGINATED FROM) MY SON THOR IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE GOD OF THUNDER WHILE I'M RESPONSIBLE FOR MANKIND. I'M ALSO SUPPOSED TO BE THE GOD OF POETRY, WAR AND DEATH...SO I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHERE THEY GOT THE IDEA OF LIGHTNING AND THUNDER FROM. BUT I GUESS KILLING SOMEONE WITH POETRY IS KIND OF STUPID. IN FINAL FANTASY IX YOUR ROYAL FATNESS QUEEN BRAHNE EXTRACTED MY POWERS FROM GARNET'S BODY AND USED ME TO DESTROY THIS TOWN CALLED CLEYRA, WHICH IS BASICALLY THIS GHETTO TREEHOUSE PROTECTED BY A MAGICAL SANDSTORM TORNADO THING. I'M LIGHTNING'S EIDOLON IN FINAL FANTASY XIII. I GAVE HER A HEART ATTACK WHILE SHE WAS YELLING AT HOPE ONE DAY AND SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS DYING BECAUSE SHE ATE TOO MUCH NUTELLA. WE GOT INTO A FIGHT AND I LET HER WIN BECAUSE I WAS STARTING TO FEEL SORRY FOR HER. AFTER THAT SHE THOUGHT I WAS HER BITCH SO SHE SUMMONED ME WHENEVER SHE FUCKING FELT LIKE IT, BECAUSE SHE WAS DUMB LIKE THAT. SHE WOULD SUMMON ME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT SOMETIMES BECAUSE HER WEAK GIRLY HANDS WEREN'T STRONG ENOUGH TO OPEN A DAMN NUTELLA JAR. OUT OF ALL THE PEOPLE I COULD'VE TEAMED UP WITH I HAD TO GET THE FATASS WHO CAN'T OPEN HER OWN FOOD. WHAT THE FUCK, ETRO. WHATEVER. WHENEVER SHE ISN'T HOME I BREAK INTO HER HOUSE AND LOOK AROUND FOR EMBARRASSING THINGS TO POST ON TUMBLR. SHE LIKES TO WEAR HELLO KITTY PYJAMAS AND USES HELLO KITTY TAMPONS AND PADS. SHE ALSO HAS A HELLO KITTY STOVE. AND SHE SLEEPS WITH A PINK TEDDY BEAR AT NIGHT. ANYWAYS. IN DISSIDIA I CAN BREAK YOUR BRAVERY, WHICH MEANS YOU BECOME A WEAK-ASS PUSSY AND YOU CAN PROBABLY HAVE MORE THAN HALF OF YOUR HEALTH DEPLETED DEPENDING ON HOW STRONG YOUR OPPONENT IS - AND I HOPE THEY'RE STRONG BECAUSE I WOULDN'T WANT TO WASTE MY TIME HELPING ANOTHER WEAK-ASS PUSSY. I DO OTHER SHIT IN THE OTHER GAMES TOO BUT I'M TOO LAZY TO EXPLAIN EVERYTHING SO FUCK YOU DO THE RESEARCH YOURSELF IF YOU'RE SO EAGER TO KNOW MORE ABOUT MY PAST LIFE. Human Odin I've recently aquired the ability to transform into a human, thanks to an anon's magic powers. As a human I have shaggy blond hair and green eyes. Being a horse in my original form, I'm a lot taller than average human height with a slim build. I haven't been human for very long, so whenever I'm in my human form I have trouble adjusting to menial tasks such as walking and interacting with other humans. Being so used to walking around on four legs I have a little bit of difficulty standing on just two. I also go through a personality change, for some reason. I'm not as brash, though my original personality does have its tendancy to shine through every once in awhile *smiles sheepishly*. As a human I am curious about human behaviour and I constantly question others on why they do certain things and why they act a certain way. I imagine that habit could come across as annoying to many...but fortunately no one has seemed to act that way yet. The one human who has been giving me a substantial amount of help is none other than General Beatrix of Alexandria. She has taught me the most about human behaviour and has even taught me how to sit and walk properly. Category:Characters